The Art of the Vegas Getaway

By Rich Manning

Some people may find it odd that Las Vegas is so sacrosanct amongst many Orange County residents itching for that weekend getaway.  And frankly, if you have never properly indulged in the Vegas experience, their argument appears to be valid.  After all, it is a sordid little burg coated in glitzy tackiness that really only exists to extricate copious amounts of money from the patrons who dare traverse its neon-washed borders.  Heck, those of us who have ever hopped in a car or a plane and eagerly made that desert sojourn know the gist of this accusation to be true deep down in their collective souls.  But ultimately, we don’t care about the town’s modus operandi, because the prospect of spending a few days frolicking aimlessly within Nevada’s largest city brings us to a rare and most sacred time where we do adult activities with a type of childlike enthusiasm that would be greatly frowned upon in the real world.  In other words, it’s a damn heap of fun.

Of course, there are varying degrees of delight that can be had once you make it out to Sin City.  Essentially, how you derive pleasure from the town revolves around your attitude.  Essentially, if you either feel entitled about winning money or fearful of losing it, then you will tend to view Las Vegas through a furrowed brow and a dour eye.  However, the moment you free yourself from these restrictive mindsets, you will find yourself ready to indulge in the exuberance that Vegas can dole out as if it was a coffeehouse barista distributing lattes.  And once you get to that point, there are a few tips and tricks that you can utilize to make a trip here downright tempting.  Here then, are a few ideas for you to scrutinize as you plot your next excursion to the land of tumbling dice, flipping cards, and spinning roulette wheels.  Granted, as is the case with any published dossier of guidelines, your mileage may vary.  However, keep in mind that these suggestions have been road-tested for years by a crack team of semi-professional Vegas enthusiasts:

Drive there.  Some people will swear up and down that once you fly to Vegas, you never will want to drive there again.  And admittedly, there is something inherently cool about the prospect of boarding a plane with a few dozen other lively passengers who can’t wait to run to the nearest casino and attempt to clean their cash vaults.  However, the cruise up I-15 builds the anticipation of getting to the city so much more, in part because it takes 3 ½ to 4 hours to make the trek by car (depending on the driver).  Besides, the type of magic that twinkles through your soul the when you peer out your windshield and witness casino buildings materialize in the distance through shimmering waves of Mojave Desert heat is a far superior voodoo than the experience of seeing the same collective of edifices from a tiny window overhead.  What’s more, you can split the scene whenever you want in a car – something that may come in quite handy if you plow through your gambling money quicker than anticipated.

If you can swing it, leave the kids at home.   Remember when Vegas tried to integrate more family-oriented stuff to appeal to a whole different audience, such as people with kids?  Well, that’s all gone now.  Long gone.  Died out about the same time the Treasure Island casino turned their outdoor swashbuckling show into an event featuring scantily clad sexy pirate women.  In this aspect, the Vegas of old is back, and it finds children to be rather loathsome creatures.  Moreover, you really shouldn’t expect your children to be all that enthused about spending a bunch of days dwelling in a city that views them as a nuisance.  Granted, it’s not as bad as it was thirty years ago, when a family trip to Vegas meant spending a massively unhealthy time at Circus Circus, but it’s still not a winning vacation option if you have children in tow. 

Don’t necessarily blow huge wads of cash on your hotel room.  There’s a solid gold rule of thumb when it comes to the art of selecting a Vegas hotel.  Namely, if your main objective in going the city is to gamble, you want to be in your room as little as possible.  Ergo, why spend copious amounts on an extravagant room, unless you are planning on doing something extraordinarily special with your significant other?  If the end of your Vegas day involves you stumbling down a corridor at approximately 3 AM after a few hours of monetary hemorrhaging at the end of a craps table, that cheaper hotel room at the Excalibur that you will be fumbling to get into is not going to feel any different than the higher-priced digs at the MGM Grand.

Explore the area beyond the strip. – Even the heartiest of gambling types need a break from the action that doesn’t involve standing elbow to elbow with buffet-gorging Midwesterners.  Thankfully, Vegas life beyond The Strip or The Freemont Street Experience not only exists, it thrives.  Man-made opuses of design like the nearby Hoover Dam, historical oddities like the Atomic Testing Museum, and shrines to geek cool like the Pinball Hall of Fame (where the museum pieces are indeed fully playable) prove that you don’t have to necessarily be parked in front of a slot machine to have a good time here.  And that truly is a good thing, lest your feet start forming metaphorical roots that burrow beneath the drink-and-vomit infused casino carpet in your relentless quest for three blue sevens. 

Be comfortable with losing money.  When you make it to Vegas, adhere to one mindset:  You stand a most excellent chance of losing your money.  Learn this mantra.  Love it.  Absorb it.  In fact, expect that you will indeed leave that wad of cash in your wallet with any combination of machines, dealers, or croupiers.  And make no mistake:  This realization is the absolute key to experiencing the special level of outright fun that Vegas has to offer. 

Keep the utterances of “Vegas, baby.  Vegas!” to a minimum.  Seriously.  “Swingers” came out fifteen years ago.  Come up with something new to shout out when you reach the city limits.